The whole of last night was hell. Having to endure so much pain in my mouth. To those who don't know, I used to wear braces and I'm suppose to wear my retainers now. But then, being the lazy and couldn't care less me, I didn't. Resulting to my teeth moving. So imagine my retainers were custom made to fit my teeth after braces. And now.....

   It has definatly move now. So wearing it is hell. To those who have been born lucky and not have to wear braces, imagine someone moving all your teeth together when it's already rooted to your gums. That's what it feels like wearing braces. The retainers are so bloody tight. Well it does serves me right.
But then again, wearing it means I won't be eating or won't be able to eat. Right now it hurts to ite on anything. So I think I'll just drink soup for now.

   I'll be stick think soon after wearing this for a week. Grace was telling me scary stories of how peoples teeth move after not wearing their retainers. If mine does, my parents are so gonna kill me. Well, we made a deal then. If she wears hers I'll wear it with her. And endure the torturous pain.

   I think it's very true that beauty comes with a price. Suffering now....the pain...the pain!!!... I went to bed at 2.30 last night but was only awaken to the pain of my aching mouth at 4 or 4.30. Or earlier cos I toss and turned and wanted to cry in my bed. That was till 4.30 then finally realised that I was not gonna get any sleep, oh yeah the no sleep l;ast night was also thanks to the brilliant me in having three cups of coffee at swensens.

   Anyway, I got out of bed, dragging my big stuffy pillow along ( I love doing that) and sat in front of the telly to watch Malcolm. Somehow the telly could not offer anything that would slightly interest me. Went back to bed at 5.30 and the only reason I finally fell asleep was because I took out the ?>*&%^$#@@#%^@#@^&&&* retainers. =)

   One day, I shall turn into some coffee junkie. Never offer me coffee. I think I won't be able to stop drinking. Could be I'm a bit of an addict now? Nah.....Can't be. I'll just get dumber if I take more coffee. It's been some time now since I've blogged bout something controversial. hehehehe...

   Whatever it is, who cares CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!! Cassie sings ~ this the season to be jolly...FALALALALA LALALALA!!!!!

I've already watched the movie and all I can say was it's awesome! It's superb. Honestly, this is the best among all the movies shown. I'm so glad they didn'tt spoil the book.

   Two days ago was the premier of Harry Potter I really didn't think it was gonna be something big but well, Celebrities were there. When mention celebrities, it means Malaysian celebs. Anyway, saw Paul Moss, Adam from 8tv and apparently Marion and Harith Iskandar was there not forgetting Dina, and alot of other somebodys. I was there on time so had no time to check out the celebs. But what the heck, do't really care. TEEheee...

   Anyway, security was so tight. We were checked a few times. First, had to line up to get in. Then they search you with those sensor beeper things. Then they ask you if you posses any phones, camera etc. Then if you do, proceed to this counter where you have to give in your electronic devices. Then in return they give you this coupon thinggy. So, you think you can happily walk of to the movies, so wrong. They'll check you bag first to make sure nothings in it. So much hassle.

   Anyway, the press was there. So many guys with those big cams, snapping away. Ok more bout the movie. Cho Chang as most of you already know is played by this Scotish girl, Katie Leung. She's not excrly pretty but more of sweet and cute. She's scotish with an irish accent. Weird. Anyway, let me spoil it a little. There was a part of the movie where HArry was at breakfast and he saw Cho after just gulping down his juice. So he smiled, and guess what happen. All the juice spilled out of his mouth as he smilled at Cho.

   Whatever it is, the movies was superb and it's definatly not to be missed especially for Harry Potter fans. I think everyone feels that the 3rd movie was a big letdown but well the 4th one really made things up. I think girls would go for Cedric, but stop and look at Ron. OMgawd... don't you think he's cute???!!! I'd rather pay attention to RON!! They've all grew up so much. Al matured and all. There was even a part of the movie where Hermione lookde like JOJO. WTH?

  In the story, the three of them are suppose to look like geeks, and the movie totally shows the complete opposite. Ok except for Harry, who's nothing much to look at. I think the only people who fits the exact description in the book would be the Weasleys. With the red hair and all, love the whole lot of them. Wouldn't mind watching it again!! So Harry Potter anyone?

It's been tooooo long. I miss the writting. Well, I've been working. YES. I got a job at swensens! So, pop by ya?

   The working life is, well I've already had a whole lotta experience last year, so it's bout the same. Bout the tuition, still have to attend and I thought it through. If Sook can juggle her time, why not me? Anyway, working's been sooo fun. Especially on earthquake day, which was yesterday.

   The day was rather slow, but by night time, bussiness was running, and the place was full. Besides that I've had my experience in dropping glasses!! The best thing was, our Youth Sports minister was there with some Itallian guy, another Indian guy and another European. So, I was cleanning up after this malay family, which from my personal oppinion had no manners at all. The daddy was fat! And he had a son that was just like him. NOt the point. Anyway, I stacked the cups on the tray and I guess it wasn't stable enough, so it  knocked each other off the tray, spilled on me, then fell onto the fllor with a loud CLANG!! thank god it was only plastic cups. BUt then I had orange juice on me. SAD.

   B'sides that, working's been fun. Okay, we have our share of nice and nasty workers. Seems like not everyone there is acceptive of us new employees. The kitchen staff that I like are off on Raya hols. So sad, no one to kacau, and everyone's fav, Ryan is living for India. So sad. He's so damn nice. So friendly. He's the only non-malay besides us there. The girls there are not so friendly. Don't think the like us. But I love my manager!! He's the greatest. So damn nice. That would be Mr. Simon. The other one, not so nice, bloody pilih kasih with the malay girls. He allows them to do the things we can't.

   Then there's this fat malay guy. So miang. Thank Gawd I got the gals to rely on. And did I mention Adrian 's working in Delifrance!!!! Super cool. Get to seee him..hehe..It's so fast that's it's coming to 4 months very soon. Still feel like 3 years. He's woring with Sonia and Kenneth. Heard it's uch more relax there. The people there are fun. hmph. Swensens is....ok depends who's there. So, if U  wanna find me, I'll be at Swensens!

I think I found a solution on how not to end up going for tuition. I'm gonna have to start studying now. Might be able to save my ass. Who knows? hehe.. I'm desperate now. I guess.

   I sit and stare at the screen. Can't think of anything to write, I don't want to rant bout anything anymore. The last entry's enough to last a year. Hmmm..where's inspiration when I need it. And let's this entry not be about "I", but the world?

   The end of the world. That's what everyone is saying. It's not true, if you believe in the Bible. For instant, there's such thing called the anti-Christ, and he hasn't existed yet. So, the world is not coming to an end.

   The whole reason to why I brought this up is cos, well we have been having too many natural disasters recently. OK, it all started on Boxing Day 04'. Tsunami. It came, wipe many countries, destroyed familes and lifes. Then we had the Taifun's in country's that are not spose to get it. Then we have 3 hurricanes at once. Freaky right?

   This is no end of the world. It's just our fault for contaminating earth. Polluting earth. Putting eart under stress. So, this is what happens when we meddlesome humans destroy Earth. 

   NOw,  let's talk bout something else. Gemala interview. Nah. Boring. HAlf the world would have blogged bout that. I think I'll come back when I have more interesting things to say.

I still don't understand life after 16 years of living it. It just seems the longer you stay alive, the deeper you sink. Life's a swamp, that eats you up, day by day. Those who realises it never makes it through. Those who stay blind and ignorant somehow survives.

   Life, at times is so very confusing. Or maybe it's my fault for making it so twisted. I'm in a dilemma now. I want to work. Well, my ever so kind parents gave me the permission to do so. With the condition, I gotta go for tuition. And the tuition days are tuesday, physics and wedsday, chemistry. The best thing is, I already have tuition on wednesday, add math, at night. So that means, wednesday would be my off day.

   Great right, spending your offday going to tuition. And thats not all, I have other activities. Many other activities that will restrict my working hours. Then who's gonna hire me? How the hell am I gonna balance everything out? So, in the end what am I gonna earn? RM200?? ok max RM400. Then, tell me what's the use of working. It's so little. And I can only work for a month. That's the condition.

   I want the money just to enjoy with my friends. They don't provide me wth that, so obviously I have to work. Clothes that I want, I have to buy them myself. Skincare products, everything.

   Are there parents out there who are really so paranoid over their kids failing for exams. Are there parents stricter tha mine? OK I guess you;d have to be stupid to fail if thats what they see it as, then I'm sorry but I'm dumb. How am I suppose to keep up with my sister who scored 10 bloody a's for spm. That's straight a's. 8 a1's 2 a2's.

   She's so paranoid. My brother dropped 2 places in his exam (class possition) and they got so bloody worried. To them the only thing that matters is getting straight a's. Fine maybe it's my fault for being so lazy. And also mine for not scorring in my exam. So, it's my fault and I guess I deserved it all. I guess it always is my fault. So should I work and just forget about fun?

   Worst comes to worst, except the Christmas job that pays 200 a night. After all, I only have to sing that's all. BUt it's on Christmas Eve, and night. So, miss Christmas? So bloody frustrated, I just had to rant. Like I said, life's never fair.

It's almost there I can feel it...Freedom..total freedom, of course till we get our reults then, BANG!! Everything explodes and everything flies. That's my mum for your info when she finds out how I flunk some subjects again. DAMN.

   Suddenly she's taking my exams so seriously. like today! When everything is over. The killer papers are over, and i think i FLUNK it. I really mean flunk! Gonna get grounded.

   The weird thing bout finally being able to get to my blog is I have nothing to say. Before this I had so much on my mind. Whatever la. will write when I have somethign to say. Anyway I sdcrewed my english paper up also. Who does that? I must be dumb.

GOSH!!! it's history paper 2 tomorrow and i have yet to finish the sylables!!! I still have 3 dreafull chapters. OK make that 2 dreadfull chapters. I personally find chapter 9 interesting. About history, it's so bloody unfair why we have to learn 5 friggin chapters on Islam.

   Hello? Doesn't the government realise that there's more to the world we need to know? NOt Islam. Yes, we are in an Islamic country, and by all rights we should know a thing or two on Islam, but how bout Europe? Honestly that 1 chapter on Europe is not going to make a difference in our lives.

   It's learning nothing at all. And for your information, chapter 9 IS the shortest chapter in the entire book. Yet, the most interesting. I'm not condeming Islam or anything. I'm just saying that, we can learn much more intersting stuff in History then ISlam and only Islam.

   Those should just be left for Agama classes, where the Islamic people can learn bout their religion. We, on the other hand are seriously in need or world history. So much has happen to the world in this past centrury. HOw bout all the world wars.

   In form 1 to form 3, we spent learning on the history of Malaysia. Don't you think that's a little too long. I'm not a History freak or something but History can be interesting, it's just "THEIR" fault for making it so boring.

   I can fall asleep reading about khalifah's what more memorize their name. All this is irrelavant to our later years. No one is going to ask us if we know what was Bani abbasiyah or Abbadiyah...or something like that. Or the names of the khalifah? But people will talk about world history. And that is when you'd realise how shallow Malaysian kids are. We know nuts bout eveything around us.

   We spent our entire childhood or teen life trying to get that oh so special gred so that we can get a scholarship?? or enter a University? Life has to have a balance. Something like the Yin n Yang. It's always equal. Anyway I gotta go study now. It's the exams now. Gonna cram mmore history. toodles ppl.

I have no idea when today started. Whether the day started or not, I'm still trying to figure that out. Imagine sleeping only at 7, then waking up at 9. That's not sleeping right? It's more like naping. So, my yesterday did not end, and today did not start. Get what I mean?

   I think I'm a coffee junkie now. It's common for most of us to have that after effect coffee brings right? Then we can't sleep even after a cup. I don't think it works for me anymore. Currently I can take 3 cups of coffee, and go straight to sleep. Hey, it has been tested. And results turned out positive. Who won't after finishing a whole packet of 3 in 1's in a week. Normally how many sachets are there in those packs? 20? or more?

   The fun part bout that is being able to be awake in the early morn. As in like 6 in the morning? Dyu know how cold it is during that time. And there's something bout the mornings, bout 6 to 7? that's really nice. THe feeling.

   So the whole night was spent doing? ADD MATH. Then woke up went for a 3 hour add math tuition at 10. Other then that, I haven't study today. Damn, exams in 3 freakin days. There's no friggin time to finish studying. We're all doom people. Let's dig graves together. I want mine to face sunrise!

   Sides that, went to cut my hair just cause my sis was going and I ended up changing the whole look. Don't know how much it has really change but it does look different when it's styled? My sis has Eva Longoria's hair now. It's the same style. She also wanted to change her look and she got that. Mine's the total opposite. I think it's a whole messy look, her's has style, I think mine would be so punkish.hehe. Let me show you some pics. Just two of it. Think it's great, especially the one of my sis, I TOOK IT!!! and she took mine. =)

Somehow it looks the same in the pic. Any Difference?

This one? Call me vain but I was trying to see how it looks. =)


NOw this is one pic I like.

To Wei Shiung, just for you. All I can do is to offer my deepest condolences.

   
   Life for everyone on earth has been timed. Like it or not, we WILL leave this world one day. It could be tonight, tomorrow maybe next week. You got my point. Well when a love one leaves, it's when most of us realise what we missed out on telling them. Don't worry, I'm sure most of them know even though u never said a thing.

   Be glad for them for living a fruitful life, for even being able to live for so many years. Be glad that they can finally rest at peace. Just accept it, it's their time to leave. If they don't, new life won't be able to enter the world. Death is just another step everyone has to go through. Death itself is not the end, but the beginning to something new. A whole new experience, not only for Christians. Muslims, Hindus, Jews, Budhist, it's also a new beginning for you. We are all children of God.

   Everyone, after death, will experience a whole new life. So rejoice for the deceased, for they finally have a chance to go live with God. We cry mostly for selfish reasons, I know i's harsh saying this, but think. Why do you cry? Cause you didn't want her/him to go. It is still natural to do so.

   All of us have different routes through life. The journey of life is never the same for any individual. We all have our ups and downs. MAke our own mistakes, then learn from them. If we give up on life, then you're telling everyone you are a failure. NO one can lable you but yourself. You are your worst enemy.  

   The worst word to say is " I CAN'T " without putting sufficient effort into your job. Giving up is just as bad. Sure it's not easy to stay so strong but it's just a way of life. God wants us to learn. That's why he puts us here in the first place. He decides what kind of life we'll lead, and he knows best. Everything we go through is just for our own good. Who knows it might come to good use one day in life.

   So go on smilling don't bring yourseld down, keep you chin high. Your time will come soon, so make the best out of everything you have in life!

   

   

I think I finally got the slap in my face I deserved, wait don't rejoice yet, not a physical slap, but slap as in just a term, and a saying. It could be just my good mood. Who knows?

   I was thinking the whole of last night, slept at 6am. Trying to motivate me to study, also having a long conversation with sookie, but well I've been asking myself why is this happening? Everything is so wrong. why is it going this way? and why this and that...then SLAP!!! it shouldn't be hard to realise, but only YOU can make it happen. So I thought, why not give it a try again. Like if you wanna succeed, only you can make it come true. Same with your studies, though there's a week left, I'll make the best out of it and see what comes out. Who wants to fail right? 

   The thing is all of us can score, it's just that those who score are those who try and work then achieve, the rest of us are a bunch of lazy asses that want it but do nothing bout it. I had many dreams, for instant, Prefects, it was what I really wanted, and it let me down so bad for the second time when I didn't get it. It hurt, but I'm not gonna sit there and whine and say the system's not fair, but accept it that there are better people out there. I guess when you fall, it's you that have to pick yourself up again. Perhaps they know better. Maybe that's why I'm a crappy prefect now. Nowadays I wish I'm not part of that green family but instead one of the rest, like most of you.

   I miss the blue and white uniform and I wish I could put it back on again. Be back with my friends during recess, and hang out with them. I don't wanna spend the last few moments in high school dutying!! But then once you sign up for something, there's commitment. That's the sad part. Having to do something you don't wanna do. BUt who knows it might be able to build your character. I think that's why my parents want me to stay a prefect. Anyway, don't think Mr Jacob would hear of me quitting. Honestly I don't think I was ever prefect material.

   I just did it cos it was my duty, it's not part of me to go "tegur" people. Look I know how it sucks when a prefect coax you into throwing your rubbish and all, trust me I've been there, and I kinda jelling and glared and etc etc etc last time. Being a prefect does teach you stuff, like being brave. You don't know how much of guts it takes to go up and tegur people you don't wanna tegur!

   Again, I have to put all that behind, it's the past, and maybe it's just not me to play politics ( one thing I really hate ) Somethings are just not meant to be. And then we move on, with a smile on your face! You may not see it now, but whatever shit you go through teaches you so much, and i can say it's made me , me today. Whoever I am is cos of what I've been through.

   It does stink sometimes, when you look around and see you extremely capable friends doing so well and then you think to yourself? What am I? what am I good at? Then I'll ask myself? having a line of ex-es? Is that all I'm good for? -chuckles- but I guess whatever it is, I'll find it one day, I'm yet to find my talent. Something I can really do.

   HOw bout talking bout my friends now. I HAVE A GREAT BUNCH OF FRIENDS!! I'm so glad I have them. Sookie has been with me the longest though not that close back in primary school, but still I've gotten to know her so well as she stands by me whenever I need her. I can't believe she's PRESIDENT of the INteract club now, shows how much trust people put in her. Somehow you can just trust her, it's part of her. And she's a great listener. Among all of us, she makes the most sense. hehe.

   Amelia, is just nuts and has a way with words. She can just persuade you to do something you don't wanna do. It's fun being around her. She lighten things up and crack the stupidest jokes. Or does stupid things. Don't judge her before you know her.  Can't believe how she can shop!!! I think she does this I see, I like, I buy. Xuemei's just so good at sports, mischievious and loving! She's great la. I love you guys lots!

A little rain along the way,
Cannot be blamed for your bad day.
Raindrops falling on your head
Is not an excuse I will tolerate.
A little wind to push you down
Should not allow you to give up
Ride the wind, go it's flow,
Let it take you places you wanna go.
Follow your heart, but not to much
See the logic of every task.
Listen to the elders, take their advice
It's priceless, and worth keeping in mind.